Helping Your Child Deal with Acne

Acne affects adolescents at a time when they’re developing their
personalities and evolving into adulthood. During this time, peer
acceptance is very important to them and physical appearance
and attractiveness is highly associated with peer status. Besides
the physical scars that severe acne can produce, your teen may
also be suffering emotionally.
Acne can be a real drag on a kid’s daily life. Acne on the face can
bring out cruel taunts, teasing, and name calling from other kids.
Some kids become so preoccupied with how their skin looks, that
they may not want to go to school, lose self-confidence, pull away
from their friends, show a dramatic change in their thinking and
behavior, become withdrawn, and even may begin to feel depressed.
The following list goes over some of the various teenage behaviors
and coping mechanisms that they may develop to deal with acne:
 Grow their hair long to cover their face.
 Become so embarrassed that they avoid eye contact.
 “Cake on” heavy makeup to hide the pimples.
 Lose interest in sports such as swimming or basketball
because of the need to undress in locker rooms and expose
their back and chests.
 Become shy and even isolated and prefer to stay in their
bedrooms.
 Start to develop any of the symptoms of depression from the
list in the “Detecting depression in teens” section.Offering your help
Here are a few seemingly simple, yet effective, ways to communi-
cate your willingness to help:
 Let your children know how much you care: Give your child
adequate time to bring up the subjects of their acne and allow
them to address or respond to your questions about the
behavioral changes you’ve noticed.
 Listen patiently: They may want to communicate their feel-
ings but have difficulty doing so. Think back to your own teen
years. You may not have always felt like it was easy to be open
about your thoughts and feelings.
 Don’t be overly judgmental about your child’s appearance:
Approach the subject of acne in a gentle, caring manner and
try to give a little space when it comes to some of the rela-
tively harmless decisions they make about their clothing and
grooming habits.
 Keep the lines of communication open: Take the time to pay
undivided attention to your kid’s concerns. It’s important to
keep the lines of communication open, even if your child
seems to want to withdraw.
 Don’t lecture on the subject: Try to avoid telling your child
what to do. Instead, pay careful attention and you may dis-
cover more about the issues causing his problems.
Detecting depression in teens
It is common for adolescents — or anybody for that matter — to
occasionally feel unhappy. However, when the unhappiness lasts for
more than two weeks, and the teen experiences other symptoms,
then he may be suffering from depression. Determining if a teenager
is depressed can be a very tricky undertaking. Dramatic physical
and mental changes seem to take place almost overnight and it
sometimes seems hard to tell the “normal” from the “abnormal.”
Depression is a more commonly recognized condition in adoles-
cents than it had been in the past. Parents should look for common
signs of depression in adolescents and they should be dealt with in
a serious manner and not just passed off as “growing pains” or the
normal consequence of adolescence. If you observe some of the
signs or behaviors listed in the following bulleted list, they may be
indicators of depression. They’re not always diagnostic of teen
depression; however, they may indicate other psychological,
social, family, or school problems. Among these are:
 Sadness, anxiety, or a feeling of hopelessness
 A sudden drop in grades
 Loss of interest in food or compulsive overeating that results
in rapid weight loss or gain
 Staying awake at night and sleeping during the day
 Withdrawal from friends
 Unusual irritability, rebellious behavior, or cutting school
 Physical complaints, such as headaches, stomachaches, low
back pain, or excessive fatigue
 Use of alcohol or drugs
 Promiscuous sexual activity
 A preoccupation with death and dying
Don’t be afraid to talk to your child about feelings. If you sense a
change or that something is seriously troubling your child, you
may be right. You can even ask about suicidal thoughts. You won’t
increase the possibility of suicidal behavior by asking if someone
has thought about it. Asking such a question does not “put
thoughts into their heads” but rather is more likely to identify if
they may be at risk.
If you or your loved one is finding it extremely difficult or impossi-
ble to handle the emotional aspects of acne, get help. And, if you
don’t feel that you can communicate effectively with your adoles-
cent, get help. Talk to your pediatrician or primary care practi-
tioner or ask for a referral for counseling. Strong suicidal thoughts
are an emergency and call for immediate action. Don’t go it alone.